Growing up...

As a twin to a much beloved and only boy in a family of three older girls was extremely difficult.  I don't know when I finally realized that I was a twin but when the realization did dawn on me, it never left.  I felt burdened with the title.   For the longest time, we were referred to as " the twins" and it didn't help that my mother wasn't very creative with naming us as Eric and Erika.  I guess I should be thankful that she changed up the spelling.  She always told me that she named me after Erica Cain after my Uncle's favorite soap star on All My Children.  I don't know whether it's true or not, but that was the only thing that I liked about my name.

My brother is older by two stinky minutes and at every given opportunity, he felt  compelled to remind me of this fact by saying "as your older brother......" give me a freaking break. It also ticked me off that he mastered everything that he tried whereas I struggled with the few things that I attempted  and as a twin, everything ended up as a competition and I was always destined to be on the losing end.  It was hard just trying to be me and not being identified as a "twin" connected by shared birthdays, friends, schools and just about everything else in between.  We were always "conjoined"; seen and treated as one and never as two separate individuals.  Maybe that was why I jumped at the opportunity to go as far away as possible to attend college where I could forge my own identity and create my own set of friends and not be Eric's twin; a title I resented.